Growing Grateful Kids
Susie Larson
http://www.susielarson.com/
The #1 thing you have to know is:
We can not impart what we do not possess. We have to be grateful and humble, thankful and caring to teach our kids these things. Our strife and stress show them that we don’t believe God is who we say He is. Remember, more is caught than taught.
It is possible to go upstream against modern culture, we have a mighty God. Speak His truth. We have to model thankfulness. (don’t parent out of anxieties and fears).
“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18
We take so much for granted, then are surprised and disappointed when our kids do the same thing.
Also remember, comparison is a sin. Focus only on what you have.
Practice gratitude (Thankfulness)
Do I complain and talk about struggles in front of the kids?
Modeling gratitude makes us credible to our kids.
Don’t guilt your children. Teach them gratefulness through prayer – for everything.
a) Refuse worry (it will steal your grateful heart) I could worry but I choose not to so that I can glorify God.
b) Spend time with God (get His perspective)
c) Keep a thankfulness journal (read it out loud)
d) Let your kids hear you thanking God over simple things
e) Teach them to pray out loud
f) Ask your children: “What are you most thankful for?” ask them all the time
g) An attitude of entitlement is to be treated like a sin.
2. Practice Restraint
a) Just because we can afford it doesn’t mean we should get it
b) Learn to say: “Your character matters more to me than (activities, plans, items), and this attitude needs addressed immediately.” You must address things immediately, no matter what. If this means leaving the cart at the store, cancelling long-planned for outings etc. do it. Your child’s character is more important than those things.
c) Addictions to games/toys/activities … etc. Nothing should have that power over you but God.
1. Put them on mini-fasts from toys, candy, movies, games, activities – until the grateful attitude is achieved.
2. Pampering ourselves shouldn’t be a way of life. “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” Proverbs 25:28
3. We need to say no to ourselves and teach our kids that same valuable self-tool.
4. Spoiled, over-indulged children show the same characteristics as drug addicts
5. Some disappointment and struggles are needed for your child to grow into a healthy and capable adult.
Personal application
• Ask: What in my hand do you want so you can have more of me?
• Establish: a partial fast
• Say “no” to yourself, and then deal with it.
Parental application
• Ask God to give you a heightened sense of where your child will struggle
Teach them to practice self-control
Is there anything you feel you should lay down for a little while?
Take time to play
• It shows our children that more rests on God’s shoulders than our shoulders.
• In good times and bad, life is a gift worth celebrating.
• It communicates “Everything will be all right”.
• “There, in the presence of the LORD your God, you and your families shall eat and shall rejoice in everything you have put your hand to, because the LORD your God has blessed you.” Deuteronomy 12:7
• “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” Psalm 34:8
• Play like a kid.
Personal application
• Make time to laugh
• Do what’s fun
Parental application
• Play with the kids
• Forget the chores and spontaneously do an activity
• Ask them what they enjoyed about their day. Every night.
Teaching Forgiveness
This has everything to do with gratefulness. Forgiveness is the *structural support of gratefulness.* Showing love, respect and forgiveness shows the thing and the situation are not as important as the person. Teach them to make amends to the person and that there are consequences to their actions.
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is an attitude.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
Teach mercy, truth and grace.
• Own and admit an offense.
• Humbly ask for forgiveness.
• Take responsibility and make reparation.
• Embrace Jesus’ grace with humility.
Teach them and model them.
Personal application
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24
• Pray daily for those you can’t forgive.
• Deal with un-forgiveness
• Daily receive fresh mercies- leave the past behind you.
Parental application
• When you blow it- tell your kid and then tell them how you should have handled it and repair it.
• Walk them through it when they blow it
• You are a gate-keeper of your family. What you allow is allowed into your family.
Give a blessing
•One day a year, have a family dinner. “Eve of Eve” dinner. Tell what you were taught by God over the past year, what you will bring with you into the new year, and what you want to learn in the new year.
This is only a suggested way. Find what works best for your family.
Work together as parents to come up with a blessing to speak over your child. During the eve of eve dinner, the father will stand behind each child, place his hand on their shoulders or head and speak the blessing over each child. This should only be done after much prayer and searching of Scripture. Each blessing should be personal to the child receiving it, not an all-encompassing blessing for all the children at once.
• Separate who they are from what they do.
• Never let your child walk away with a closed spirit. When you blow it, fix it immediately.
• Telling the truth- love them enough to confront and give correction. Teach them it’s because we want the best for them.
Personal application
• Ask God to speak a blessing. Ask Him to send someone to do it for Him.
• Remember, I am the object of God’s affection.
Parental application
• Put your hands on their face and speak blessings into their life on a regular basis.
• Let them know, “I SEE YOU”.
• During difficult seasons cast a new dream and blessing over their life.
“God has a big plan for you and I can’t wait to see what it is!”
These are my notes from Susie's workshop. Any mistakes are mine. Please check out her website (link above) for tons of resources, a great monthly email, ways to connect to her ministry and for more information about where she will be next.
Susie Larson
http://www.susielarson.com/
The #1 thing you have to know is:
We can not impart what we do not possess. We have to be grateful and humble, thankful and caring to teach our kids these things. Our strife and stress show them that we don’t believe God is who we say He is. Remember, more is caught than taught.
It is possible to go upstream against modern culture, we have a mighty God. Speak His truth. We have to model thankfulness. (don’t parent out of anxieties and fears).
“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18
We take so much for granted, then are surprised and disappointed when our kids do the same thing.
Also remember, comparison is a sin. Focus only on what you have.
Practice gratitude (Thankfulness)
Do I complain and talk about struggles in front of the kids?
Modeling gratitude makes us credible to our kids.
Don’t guilt your children. Teach them gratefulness through prayer – for everything.
a) Refuse worry (it will steal your grateful heart) I could worry but I choose not to so that I can glorify God.
b) Spend time with God (get His perspective)
c) Keep a thankfulness journal (read it out loud)
d) Let your kids hear you thanking God over simple things
e) Teach them to pray out loud
f) Ask your children: “What are you most thankful for?” ask them all the time
g) An attitude of entitlement is to be treated like a sin.
2. Practice Restraint
a) Just because we can afford it doesn’t mean we should get it
b) Learn to say: “Your character matters more to me than (activities, plans, items), and this attitude needs addressed immediately.” You must address things immediately, no matter what. If this means leaving the cart at the store, cancelling long-planned for outings etc. do it. Your child’s character is more important than those things.
c) Addictions to games/toys/activities … etc. Nothing should have that power over you but God.
1. Put them on mini-fasts from toys, candy, movies, games, activities – until the grateful attitude is achieved.
2. Pampering ourselves shouldn’t be a way of life. “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” Proverbs 25:28
3. We need to say no to ourselves and teach our kids that same valuable self-tool.
4. Spoiled, over-indulged children show the same characteristics as drug addicts
5. Some disappointment and struggles are needed for your child to grow into a healthy and capable adult.
Personal application
• Ask: What in my hand do you want so you can have more of me?
• Establish: a partial fast
• Say “no” to yourself, and then deal with it.
Parental application
• Ask God to give you a heightened sense of where your child will struggle
Teach them to practice self-control
Is there anything you feel you should lay down for a little while?
Take time to play
• It shows our children that more rests on God’s shoulders than our shoulders.
• In good times and bad, life is a gift worth celebrating.
• It communicates “Everything will be all right”.
• “There, in the presence of the LORD your God, you and your families shall eat and shall rejoice in everything you have put your hand to, because the LORD your God has blessed you.” Deuteronomy 12:7
• “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” Psalm 34:8
• Play like a kid.
Personal application
• Make time to laugh
• Do what’s fun
Parental application
• Play with the kids
• Forget the chores and spontaneously do an activity
• Ask them what they enjoyed about their day. Every night.
Teaching Forgiveness
This has everything to do with gratefulness. Forgiveness is the *structural support of gratefulness.* Showing love, respect and forgiveness shows the thing and the situation are not as important as the person. Teach them to make amends to the person and that there are consequences to their actions.
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act. It is an attitude.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
Teach mercy, truth and grace.
• Own and admit an offense.
• Humbly ask for forgiveness.
• Take responsibility and make reparation.
• Embrace Jesus’ grace with humility.
Teach them and model them.
Personal application
“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24
• Pray daily for those you can’t forgive.
• Deal with un-forgiveness
• Daily receive fresh mercies- leave the past behind you.
Parental application
• When you blow it- tell your kid and then tell them how you should have handled it and repair it.
• Walk them through it when they blow it
• You are a gate-keeper of your family. What you allow is allowed into your family.
Give a blessing
•One day a year, have a family dinner. “Eve of Eve” dinner. Tell what you were taught by God over the past year, what you will bring with you into the new year, and what you want to learn in the new year.
This is only a suggested way. Find what works best for your family.
Work together as parents to come up with a blessing to speak over your child. During the eve of eve dinner, the father will stand behind each child, place his hand on their shoulders or head and speak the blessing over each child. This should only be done after much prayer and searching of Scripture. Each blessing should be personal to the child receiving it, not an all-encompassing blessing for all the children at once.
• Separate who they are from what they do.
• Never let your child walk away with a closed spirit. When you blow it, fix it immediately.
• Telling the truth- love them enough to confront and give correction. Teach them it’s because we want the best for them.
Personal application
• Ask God to speak a blessing. Ask Him to send someone to do it for Him.
• Remember, I am the object of God’s affection.
Parental application
• Put your hands on their face and speak blessings into their life on a regular basis.
• Let them know, “I SEE YOU”.
• During difficult seasons cast a new dream and blessing over their life.
“God has a big plan for you and I can’t wait to see what it is!”
These are my notes from Susie's workshop. Any mistakes are mine. Please check out her website (link above) for tons of resources, a great monthly email, ways to connect to her ministry and for more information about where she will be next.
