Fresh Brewed Life
What is a “fresh brewed life”?
Taking the “whole bean” essence of who we are, knowing it will be finely ground by the world. But when the warm love of God pours over us, we will give a wonderful aroma to the world. We have to recognize that the “daily grind” is very dulling. We tend to get to the place where we ask, “Where did I go?”
We spend our life postponing happiness, then we will turn around and wonder, “What was I waiting for?” Today is the day to say yes to God. I will not postpone abundant life anymore.
When we go through struggle and challenge, we become pretenders in our own life. The higher level of our pretending, the further we will fall before we get to our real life. Through pain we either become spectators or evaluators.
Spectating: Standing outside of our life and watching others live theirs. We try to manage it all, but at some point we have to take time for our self.
Evaluating: We become a criticizer of everything.
With spectators and evaluators we tend to live the “If everyone is ok, then I guess I am ok too” attitude. With this attitude we run the risk of losing ourselves.
Interviewing Your Anger
· It’s hard to admit we are angry: we don’t want to be angry so we pretend we aren’t. We don’t own it. (high level of pretending = far to fall) We must own it.
· What is the issue? At the very root, why am I really angry?
· We have to take responsibility for our anger and not blame our spouse, our kids, our co-workers, etc. when they ignite it. Ask yourself:
o Am I critical consistently of other people?
o Are my friendships peppered with angry incidents?
o Are the kids constantly doing something wrong?
o Does my family frequently ask why I am mad?
o Do I brake things in anger?
o Does my spouse feel praised by me?
· Righteous anger is ok when it is dealt with and not covered over.
· When pain and hurt are covered over they become anger
· Anger comes from compromising our self (not the health sense of compromise, but at a deep core level)
· Learn to ask yourself, where have I compromised, or been compromised? This could be values, beliefs,
· We have to take responsibility for our anger and not blame our spouse, our kids, our co-workers, etc. when they ignite it. Ask yourself:
o Am I critical consistently of other people?
o Are my friendships peppered with angry incidents?
o Are the kids constantly doing something wrong?
o Does my family frequently ask why I am mad?
o Do I brake things in anger?
o Does my spouse feel praised by me?
· Righteous anger is ok when it is dealt with and not covered over.
· When pain and hurt are covered over they become anger
· Anger comes from compromising our self (not the health sense of compromise, but at a deep core level)
· Learn to ask yourself, where have I compromised, or been compromised? This could be values, beliefs,
goals, desires.
· We spend more energy covering up anger than dealing with it.
· God is not afraid of my anger.
· Remember, I want to be the face of love to my children.
· We spend more energy covering up anger than dealing with it.
· God is not afraid of my anger.
· Remember, I want to be the face of love to my children.
Listening to Your Longings
· We were made for more than this world has to offer us.
o Bad news: We will spend the majority of our lives unfulfilled
o Good news: I am not crazy feeling this and I am not alone feeling this (“holes”)
· We try to fill that longing with “things”. We say we don’t want more (rationalize); we say we are
o Bad news: We will spend the majority of our lives unfulfilled
o Good news: I am not crazy feeling this and I am not alone feeling this (“holes”)
· We try to fill that longing with “things”. We say we don’t want more (rationalize); we say we are
complete in God (spiritualize) but the holes remain, as does our sense of being unfulfilled
· The holes are place-holders for God. He will meet us in them; we cannot fill them with things or people.
· The holes are place-holders for God. He will meet us in them; we cannot fill them with things or people.
They draw us to Him.
· Don’t use this feeling of un-fulfillment to isolate yourself from those that matter most.
· The world doesn’t stop for our pain and suffering. We can’t just unplug from life. Others depend on us.
· Don’t use this feeling of un-fulfillment to isolate yourself from those that matter most.
· The world doesn’t stop for our pain and suffering. We can’t just unplug from life. Others depend on us.
~ Practical way to “find myself” in a busy world ~
List 15 things that I really love to do (and if I can’t come up with 15, then I need to find new things to try) that I can do in 30 minutes or less. Do them at least 3 times a week. Remember, you are worth having a life!
God doesn’t always get us out of our life or our situation, but he always sits next to us as we live through it. Remember: We are not where we were, we are not where we will be yet, but we are further along.
What about the damage that’s already been done?
- Humility before our children will help to heal the damage.
- Help them to see a mother who struggles with anger instead of an angry mother. There is a difference.
- Ask yourself:
What am I angry about? A circumstance or a situation? Step back, take a time out and get clarity. Is it an Issue? Issues take longer and need investigation and work to resolve. (prospective)
Four easy things I can do to be proactive in not losing control of anger:
Never become too
H. (hungry)
A. (angry)
L. (lonely)
T. (tired)
These are my notes from Nicole's workshop. Any mistakes are mine. Please check out her website (link above) for tons of resources, ways to connect to her ministry and for more information about where she will be next.
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